(This is for those of you who don’t do Facebook. For those who do, this may be a repeat for you.)
Here is a very vivid dream I had last night:
I was in a house that was mine but not one I’ve ever seen in real life, as far as I can tell. I remember bookshelves lining the wall with one end of the room slanting in on both sides to a doorway leading, I guess, to a hallway or something.
I remember seeing, out of the corner of my eye, a girl (presumably Charlotte even though in the dream she had already died) of about two or three years old with blonde curly locks wearing a blindingly white sweater, kind of like a shawl with sleeves, and off-white pants (the things that stick with you).
At first it was just a glimpse I was getting and every time I turned to see if it actually WAS Charlotte, she would disappear. This went on intermittently for quite a while (Weeks? Months, maybe?) until slowly, over time, the image/ghost/whatever stayed longer and longer until I could actually look at her directly without her disappearing. It was kind of hard to keep looking at her for any length of time because that sweater was REALLY bright; glowing almost.
She was always standing with her back to me, facing the bookshelves, as if she were looking for something to read (typical Charlotte). Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to be finding what she wanted. I was finally able to sit down on the floor next to her and get a good look at her. Once I saw her face, I could tell it was definitely Charlotte’s ghost.
There was no trace of any sickness but she wasn’t happy. I tried to help her pick a book but nothing was right. I finally asked her what she wanted (up to this point I hadn’t actually tried to talk to her). I don’t remember her saying it but I knew she wanted a “beach bucket.” The typical-looking pink one I brought to her wasn’t the right one (don’t ask me where I got it, I have no idea).
“I want the little green half-bucket with the froggie on it.” She said, speaking out loud for the first time. Again, in reality, I don’t ever remember her having one like that but in the dream it had existed. I had to tell her it had been given away to another child like most of her toys.
She was a little bit sad about that although she seemed to accept it and it brought her away from the bookshelf where, I now realized, her toys used to be. She moved over to a table on the other side of the room and got under it, still looking unsatisfied with how things were working out.
Finally I asked her, “Why are you here?” She said she wanted to see us again, before…
And then, I’m not sure how, I knew that she had been reborn somewhere else in the world. It was in a third world or developing country (somewhere in Asia, I think) and the child was in a coma. The problem was that before she took her place as the new child, she had to finish whatever it was she needed to finish with us. Then the new baby would be able to go on with its journey.
As silly as it may sound, I think finding out what happened to that little green half-bucket with the froggie on it was the excuse she needed to come see us one last time.
I guess it was what she needed because she was suddenly gone and that was the end of the dream.
I don’t, for a minute, believe that this is true at all but it’s a good story and it made me think of her all day today; hence my “purple-y” mood on Facebook. I even wore purple all day.
So hug your babies, and think purple-y thoughts!